50th post reflections

Damn, can’t believe I’ve written 50 blogs. Crazy.

I’m still really frustrated with the project. But it’s not the project I’m frustrated with, its myself. I really should be working and learning faster. I should be more focused, less forgetful, and more receptive of the limits of working with certain materials. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am not the least bit handy naturally.

Most people I know would probably argue with that statement, but that’s because they’ve seen the product of years of hard work. They don’t see how many tools I break, and all the ridiculous mistakes I make.

Good example: re-installing the timing chain tensioner in my 300D. I had to figure how it worked to install it last year when I put together the engine. I didn’t put in the brass washer so it leaked oil everywhere. when I took it out to fix it, I forgot the entire process I went thru before to tension it properly. I put it in too loose. I had to take it off and re-install it TWO more times before I remembered how to do it. I just don’t think enough when I’m doing mechanical things.

When I am learning something– anything, be it fabricating, paragliding, rock climbing, you name it– I tend to do two things: completely immerse myself in it, and make every mistake possible. This results in me knowing a hell of a lot more than most people would learn through a similar project. It also means I take a lot longer than most people would. In the past, that’s never been a problem, because nobody was waiting on me to finish any of my big projects. And, all of the big projects were personal.

Now this is a project for the world, and I’m keeping a blog on it! That means all my mistakes are made public, and me taking a long time is a lot more obvious. I feel rushed because of it. I want to finish!! I want to be true to my word, and finish things by the deadlines I set.

This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Physically and mentally. Rebuilding my car is a close second. But in that case, there was really no hurry to get it done. It was only my time and money I was wasting by taking so long to do it.

If there’s one thing I can say about building this ironworker, its that it follows Murphy’s Law. Everything that can go wrong has gone wrong.

Oh well, progress continues, and I make progress every single day.

Despite all my complaints, I’m in love with this lifestyle. I love being a fabricator; coming home every day dirty and exhausted and wounded. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Unless it was without the wounds. I’m tired of not being able to reach in my pockets cause my hands are so cut up.


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