Frustration

I got so frustrated yesterday, I cried on the job.

I’m frustrated with how slow things are going, and that it seems like almost everything I do, I need to re-do. I’d like to have just one week where I complete all (or even most of) my goals for the week. It hasn’t happened yet.

I’ve been working like a dog, doing very little else, and still, progress is creeping. I’ve worked at least ten hour days every day this week, yet still it feels inadequate. I feel I can’t keep up with fabrication, or contacts. There’s many emails I must respond to, and lots of sittin on ass work needed for the project. I feel I’m drowning in work.

My body is rebelling. Nearly every muscle is sore. I can’t find the energy I usually have. My muscles are growing though, and I’m slimming down.

But I am learning. A lot of this is new to me. So I can’t do it as fast as an experienced person. But I feel I should be learning FASTER, doing FASTER. It feels like anyone could be doing this faster than me.

Ok enough bitching. I have it pretty damn good. I’m living the life of my dreams. I just wish I could do a better job. Oh well, I’m sure I’ll be a much better fabricator after this is through.

Sorry, OSE, for taking so damn long.

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2 responses to “Frustration”

  1. Joel Kennington says :

    I get home from work every day and see what you have done. Its great! I feel I learn every day. You learn, We learn. Learning is more valuable than the things we make. And you are sharing your learning in “realtime” that´s cool.

    Keep up the good work.

    Monterrey Mexico

  2. Luke says :

    Go easy on yourself Bri. Do what you can at a sustainable pace, don’t burn yourself out. Leave yourself the space to do the other stuff you need to do. That stuff allows this stuff.

    And in case you’re wondering, you’re already going very, very fast. You’re designing and building a new hi-tech piece of machinery from scratch, and documenting & sharing the whole exercise, on your own, with limits to your available equipment, and a team of one. If you had it designed & built & refined in 2 years, it would be amazing. You’re going faster than that.

    You’re doing brilliantly. And you’re definitely doing more than just about anyone reading your blog, or commenting on your work.

    Remember you can’t pick up the pace by pedalling faster. You’re giving it all you’ve got. So the adjustment comes elsewhere – learning what realistically fits in a fortnight, so you congratulate yourself up when you get to the end, and notice the progress, rather than getting down on yourself. Sure, have a couple of goals at the end of the list that are stretches, but don’t beat yourself up if you miss it. Celebrate the ones you make. If I looked at 3 months of solo work and saw this much I’d be cheering.

    I don’t know if you’d want to, but maybe it’s worth putting out the word for a collaborator in the local area. There could be someone who can help – even if they don’t have your skills, you might be able to hand them the administrative bits-n-pieces.

    Mostly – breathe deep. You’re doing amazing things. Peace,

    Luke

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